Whenever I dont know how to do something that I have no experience in doing my friends shame me for it. And so because of it I have to learn new skill everyday to keep up with them. But I feel like they also hate me for being better than them. I’ve noticed that this gave me really bad anxiety and panic attacks. All of this happening while my house is mess because my parents also shame me, argue with eachother (sometimes it even heatens up to fighting eachother) and always judge me based on what their perspective tells them about me without really knowing me. I know that not much people will relate to this. But I just want to feel better and get rid of this constant anxiety that makes me insecure and fearful of even doing anything. Even right now opening up feels odd since my friends and parents would see this as a weakness.
hi @Haghan. it sounds like you’re in a rough situation. it must be awful knowing that there’s no one who will listen and fully support you. it’s also so sad to know that you’re being blamed and shamed by your friends and family. i’m so sorry you’re going through this
are you able to go someplace else for a while? remove yourself from your family or friends? from what you’ve mentioned, it seems like being around these people are triggers for your anxiety and panic attacks. it might do you some good if you could just get away, maybe even 1-2 days, to see how you feel without them around you.
sending you love <3 know that there people in the world who you haven’t met that will love you and treat you better
Thank you so much for replying to me. I am currently having a bad time controlling my anxiety and worriness because of judgement from these people. I am really grateful that I can atleast open up and recieve support from this community.
But to answer your suggestions, sadly no I cannot get rid of them or ignore them for even a day since they are my “schoolmates” and my “family”. So I’m stuck in this constant torment. I don’t even know if I am allowed to experience this since I already should be grateful that I have a house, family, and able to go to school.
Now I am just worried about my future because all of this anxiety will affect my future. I don’t know what to do.
hi @Haghan .
i’m really glad you felt comfortable opening up here. it’s completely valid to feel overwhelmed by anxiety, especially when it’s coming from people who are supposed to support you like family and schoolmates. just because you have a home and family doesn’t mean you should dismiss your feelings or struggle; you deserve to feel safe and supported and it’s tough when you’re stuck in a situation where you feel judged constantly.
it’s understandable to worry about how all of this might impact your future. remember, it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling—you’re allowed to prioritise your mental health.
have you thought about finding small ways to create some personal space for yourself, even if it’s just a few moments each day? whether it’s taking a brief walk, listening to music or journaling your thoughts.
if you feel comfortable, it might also be worth talking to a trusted teacher or school counsellor. they could provide some support and guidance tailored to what you’re experiencing.
you’re doing your best and i want you to know that your feelings matter. we’re here for you & you definitely don’t have to go through this alone.
hi @Haghan. How have you been?
I’m sorry that you can’t find a way to escape, even for a while it’s actually very devastating - feeling stuck in a place that you’re not safe in.
i know it’s hard, but some of the things that @mindmirror suggested could be worth a try. if you can’t get rid of the “bad” stuff in your life right now, maybe you can try adding in more of the “good” stuff to balance it out? journaling or walking sounds like good suggestions - anything that you can do alone without your family or friends getting involved.
i also want to say - you are 100% allowed to feel this way. you dont need anyone’s permission to feel anything at all. they are your feelings, your emotions, and these are your experiences. you can be grateful of your blessings in life and still feel sad/dejected that your friends and family don’t treat you right. there’s no such thing as feeling the “right” emotions! feeling guilty about your emotions can make you feel even worse…
I am really grateful for all of this support from other people since I haven’t got much care and compassion from my sorroundings.
I would consider myself physically healthy because I do physical activities quite alot and have a good diet. But these things didnt really affect that much towards my confidence socially (especially at school)
and I don’t know why. I have tried journalling before and maybe it helps me articulate my thoughts better but doesn’t really help me calm down and make me worry less.
I have a daily routine that I’ve tried to do and is still going. And yes having a routine really helps me feel so much better at home even though my parents almost argue all the time and mock me for these ridiculous activities that I have to follow. But somehow social interactions at school still feel anxiously hard.
And today, today was rough. My close friends became more distant and school became even worse for me. Not to mention that I have a presentation tommorrow that I have to do with all of this anxiety.
I think this a problem that only I can fix but even with all of these methods my anxiety still stands. Maybe its fear of judgement, maybe it’s a fear of making a mistake, or maybe it’s all in my head. I dont know how to fix and I am searching for help.
My thoughts keep spinning in my head and I have so much unspoken. Im sorry for such a long reply and you dont really have to read all of it. Im stuck in my own head sometimes.
Hey @Haghan, it takes a lot of courage to share, especially when it feels like you’re surrounded by people who don’t understand or support you, and I’m really impressed by your strength in opening up about everything you’ve been going through.
It sounds like you’ve already been trying so many things to take care of yourself, and that’s really something to be proud of. Sometimes, even though those things don’t feel like they’re solving the whole problem, taking the first step is already part of the solution!
I know the presentation is on your mind, and I just want to remind you that you’ve been dealing with so much and still pushing through. That alone is a huge accomplishment, no matter how it goes. You’re doing more than enough, even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes.
If you ever just need to let those spinning thoughts out, we’re all here for you. Don’t feel like you have to figure everything out on your own. You’re not alone in this.
Sending you support, and I hope today is a little easier.
My deepest sincere thank you to you all who has given me support and affirmations troughout my rough days.
I am very thankful to have someone to share about my deepest struggles and feelings. Nobody in my environtment are as non-judgemental and supportive. I finally can be understood and feel relatable. I’ve never been given this much empathy troughout my life even as a kid.
I feel somewhat better that I know that I’m not struggling alone.
Hey @Haghan Thank you so much for sharing how you’re feeling with us. It takes a lot of courage to open up, and we’re truly glad that you’ve found support and understanding here. Knowing that you feel less alone and more understood means a lot.
Remember, you deserve that kind of empathy and kindness, and it’s always here for you whenever you need it. Know that it’s okay to have rough days, you don’t have to go through any of them by yourself.
Wishing you continued strength and brighter days ahead.