I’ve just started my very first proper job after uni that I think I wasn’t qualified for. I always keep on thinking I got lucky + even when I was got the job I keep on saying I didnt deserve it.
The first month I was there I wasn’t given anything to work on, whilst the rest of my team was busy. I felt too scared/shy to ask them any questions in fear of bothering them, which sort of made me feel lost.
Once I DID get my very first task, I ended up not performing well and felt that my manager was disappointed. I did not complete the work that she gave me because I actually volunteered to help another team back when I was free, and ended up prioritising that because i didnt know when my manager wanted the task to be completed. In the end I apologised to her several times but i still feel bad, even when she said it was okay.
Now I feel very guilty and out of place. I always keep on saying negative things to myself when I’m alone- sort of like impulses. To me it feels like this is the first evidence that shows i’m not good enough for the job- How do I stop this feeling?
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first of all, IMPASTA SYNDROME is real 
haha but fr, you’re not alone in this, like so many people go through the same thing when they start their first job! doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be there… you literally got hired for a reason!
the first month thing? totally normal! sometimes teams just don’t know how to onboard properly or people are just too caught up in their own work to realise that you need guidance. you weren’t sslacking, they just didn’t give you anything to do. that’s on them, not you.
also, the whole first task sitch - yeah that sucks but sounds like a misunderstanding to me… you tried to be helpful, which is a good thing for sure and your manager even said it was okay, if they were REALLY disappointed, they’d probs let you know in a way that’s more serious.
the negative self-talk tho? gotta shut that down asap. like, you wouldn’t talk to a friend that way right? you’re LEARNING, making mistakes/messing up sometimes is part of that. instead of i’m not good enough, try i’m figuring it out/ i’m learning because that’s true! plus, you probably did better than what your brain is telling you.
you got this ok? no more calling yourself unqualified when your job offer says otherwise. keep showing up, keep learning, and plssss be nicer to yourself 
hey @Dubilosu completely get how you’re feeling! Imposter syndrome is tough but remember you were hired coz they know you deserve it. The first few months in a new job can be challenging and mistakes are part of the learning process. I’ve made some embarassingly big mistakes that even the bigger bosses know of but they assured me that it’s part of the learning process; instead of being hard on yourself, focus on what you can learn from the experience. Give yourself time to grow. I know it’s not easy but keep going! Keeping showing up and do your best.
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